BOISE, ID — Local conspiracy theorist Darren Holt announced Tuesday that he is “starting to notice some patterns” suggesting that believing in conspiracies might itself be part of a much larger conspiracy.
Holt, who has spent the last decade connecting unrelated news events with red string, thumbtacks, and a rotating list of banned social media accounts, said the realization came late Sunday night while watching a 47-minute video titled “WAKE UP (Before It’s Too Late).”
“At first I thought, ‘This explains everything,’” Holt said. “But then I realized… that’s exactly what they would want me to think. And I’m not saying anything for sure — I’m just asking questions.”
According to Holt, the biggest red flag was how often conspiracy content urges viewers to “do your own research,” a phrase he now suspects may actually mean “arrive at the same conclusion as everyone else, independently, somehow.”
“If this were real truth, why do all the videos start to sound the same?” Holt asked. “I’m not accusing anyone. I’m just noticing things.”
Friends say Holt has recently begun questioning long-held beliefs about secret elites, hidden symbols, and why every supposed whistleblower also happens to sell survival gear, supplements, or a subscription newsletter.
“I used to think anyone who disagreed with me was brainwashed,” Holt said. “Now I’m starting to think agreeing with me might also mean you’re brainwashed. And again — just asking questions.”
Holt has reportedly started a new corkboard labeled “Who Benefits From Me Thinking Everything Is Fake?” which he says is “extremely suspicious” and “probably a psy-op.”
At press time, Holt expressed concern that this latest realization may itself be planted to confuse him, but vowed to keep digging “until the truth comes out that my heroes Candace Owens or Tucker Carlson prove — or until my wife makes me take down the corkboard and talk to a professional.”
