Crater Lake, OR – An Oregon man claims he saw a sleestak swimming in Crater Lake last weekend. “It was definitely a sleestak, alright,” said Clem Burgust. “It was green, with big eyes and a pointy head. I wasn’t drunk this time.”
Sleestaks were first introduced in the 1970s Saturday morning children’s show “Land of the Lost”. Sleestaks were thought to be fictitious but now it is confirmed they are real creatures.
Burgust was enjoying the view with his wife Mabel at the Rim Village Visitor Center when he noticed something odd in the lake below. “I saw what I thought was a person swimming in the lake, but knew it was just too cold to do that. So I figured it must’ve been something like the Lochness Monster. I whipped out my binocs and couldn’t believe what I saw. A sleestak, just like the ones I watched when I was kid,” said Burgust.
Burgust watched in astonishment as the sleestak swam to Wizard Island. “I’m pretty sure based on my calculations that the island is the home base of sleestaks in the Pacific Northwest. I’m positive there is a secret cave that leads to another time when you fall over a waterfall in a rubber raft,” said Burgust. “I can’t prove this yet, but I also have a theory that Bigfoot is a descendant of Cha-Ka, the little monkey boy that is in the show. There’s no other explanation.”
When asked about his past claims of seeing sleestaks (say that five times fast) Burgust explained, “What I thought were sleestaks were just frogs. Plus I was a bit drunk. This time it’s for real, as I was only a little bit drunk. Just ask my wife, she believes me.”
Burgust says he plans to petition the state to rename Wizard Island “Sleestak Island.” “Wizards don’t live there any longer because the sleestaks killed them all and ate them. That’s why you see wizard bones and magic wands all over the place down there. It’s time for a name change.”
