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Your Official Source for Mythical News

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  • Santa Increasingly Concerned Retirement Is Not an Option December 23, 2025
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July 21, 20200

Silverwood Theme Park Introduces New Roller Coaster Ride: Murder Hornet Hell

Athol, ID - Silverwood Theme Park has introduced a new roller coaster ride called “Murder Hornet Hell”. “This is no ordinary roller coaster ride,” said park manager Rick Scottman. “It’s not for the faint of heart, let’s put it that way.” With the

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July 20, 20200

Portland Mayor Bans Tear Gas; Allows Police To Use Essential Oils As Substitute

Portland, OR - Mayor Ted Wheeler has banned the use of tear gas by police in their response to protests in the city. “Tear gas is much too harsh and is a mean way to keep my fellow comrades from over-protesting in my crumbling city,” said Wheeler. “

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July 19, 20200

Eugene Pastor Criticized for Preaching Sermons with Tucked In Shirt and No Flip-Flops

Eugene, OR - Pastor David Street of New Fish Fellowship has been sanctioned by the church's council for preaching with a tucked in dress shirt. "I've never seen anything like this in the whole two weeks I've been on the council," said deacon Heath G

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June 30, 20200

Jay Inslee Heckled And Booed In Tri-Cities For Requiring All Citizens To Wear Only Blue Masks

Pasco, WA - Governor Jay Inslee was heckled and booed by protestors when he demanded Washington citizens only wear blue masks in his state. “Please wear a mask and make sure it is the color blue. This shows you will support Democrats and me in my re

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June 30, 20200

Kshama Sawant Challenges Jenny Durkan To Arm Wrestle; Winner Determines Who Will Control Seattle

Seattle, WA - Councilmember Kshama Sawant has challenged Mayor Jenny Durkan to an arm wrestling match. “I thought about swords. I thought about pistols. I even thought about mud wrestling. But I ended up deciding that I want to arm wrestle the mayor

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