Portland, OR – The producers of “The Walking Dead” are moving the filming of the hit TV series to Portland. “There are so many literal zombies in this town, our production costs will be greatly reduced,” said producer Rick Germaine. “Look! There’s one now,” he said, pointing to a hideous looking Antifa comrade licking the sidewalk. Another Antifa zombie was in the trees, eating what looked like fingers.
Violent protests have been happening nightly in the City of Roses, and as the city grows dark Antifa emerges from their underground caves, roaming the streets just like zombies from the show. “We can bring our cameras out and film these zombies for free. We don’t need to apply makeup or any other special effects because they naturally look that way,” said Germaine.
Local Antifa comrade Sean Riddle doesn’t like what’s happening in his city. “These Hollywood guys come here to film us for their show for free? Sounds like something a typical movie capitalist pig would do,” said Riddle. “We take great pride in how we look and to be compared to zombies is flattering, I suppose. But to not pay us a fair living wage when we try to eat a fascist police officer’s heart is not fair. That’s why we fight to dismantle the system.”
Germaine wasn’t fazed at the lack of cooperation from Antifa. “That’s OK and it makes perfect sense since most Antifa comrades don’t have the brain power to understand what’s going on anyway, just like most zombies. Sure, a few Antifa have brains, but most just walk around at night, mumbling, groaning and breaking things their zombie leaders tell them to. And we’re going to take advantage of that. It’s the Hollywood way, to use and take advantage of people and then throw them away like garbage,” said Germaine. “‘Cuties’ on Netflix is a great example of this.”
As the interview was wrapping up, Germaine shouted “Look out! Antifa zombie right behind you!” as another zombie was seen devouring the corpse of Mayor Ted Wheeler. The zombie was identified as Wheeler’s mayoral opponent, Sarah Iannarone, chewing on Wheeler’s intestines like it was a plate of Old Spaghetti Factory spaghetti and meatballs.
“Usually Antifa zombies don’t eat their fellow zombie comrades. I guess Ted just wasn’t Antifa enough for Sarah and she ate him,” said Germain. “Anyway, that will be another great scene for our show and it was all filmed for free. I love Portland!”
“The Walking Dead” returns this Fall.
[Photo credit: Multnomah County Sheriff’s Office]
