Olympia, WA – During Wednesday’s gubernatorial debate between Jay Inslee and Loren Culp, Inslee shocked half the state and joyfully amazed the other half by only answering every question with the words “climate change” over and over and over again.
The debate started off with the moderator asking the candidates the first question. “Gentlemen, what is the main cause of drunk driving in our state and what will you do to solve the problem? Governor Inslee, we’ll start with you.”
“Climate change,” slowly replied Inslee, staring into the camera without blinking.
Looking confused and waiting for further explanation, the moderator then asked, “Are you saying that climate change causes people to drive drunk, Governor Inslee? If so, what will you do to fix this problem that affects so many people?”
“Climate change,” Inslee responded.
“OK, then. Mr. Culp, what do you think about drunk driving in our state?” asked the moderator.
“That’s OK. I’ll be quiet for the rest of the debate. Due to my excellent sheriffing abilities I can tell this is going to get real good,” replied Culp as he walked off the stage, cracked open a cold beer and put his feet up.
“I’m not really sure what is happening tonight. But, Governor Inslee, what are the top three reasons you failed in your run to be president?”
“Climate change, climate change, and climate change,” Inslee repeated.
“What do you think the Seahawks should do to win the Super Bowl this year?”
“Climate change.”
By this time, the sign language interpreter was getting frustrated and wrote “CLIMATE CHANGE” on a piece of paper and simply lifted it up whenever Inslee answered.
The moderator asked,”Governor Inslee, what was the main reason Covid-19 spread throughout Washington and the United States?”
Inslee answered, “Climate change.”
“I thought you might have said ‘Donald Trump’, but surprisingly you did not,” said the moderator.
After three hours and hundreds of questions with the exact same answer, the moderator asked, “One last question dealing with climate change, Governor Inslee. What is your solution to stop climate change? Is your answer climate change, by chance?”
“Climate change,” Inslee stated one last time, dropped the mic, and walked off the stage.
The moderator, obviously exasperated, said “Finally! Good night, everyone. I am outta here!”
The moderator then went and collapsed in a chair next to Culp where they drank four six-packs of Rainier beer together.
A poll taken after the debate found that 100% of people in Western Washington thought Inslee’s only answer was the best compared to Culp. 100% of people in Eastern Washington thought Culp won when he sat down to drink some beer.
The election is November 3.
