Camas, WA – Camas residents soundly defeated Proposition 2, which asked the voters to spend $78 million dollars on a new aquatic center in the small town of 20,000. With close to 90% rejecting the plan, mayor Shannon Turk was optimistic. “We’re going to try again,” said the mayor. “Sad to say, but 90% of my constituents are just flat wrong on this one.”
With the cost of close to $500 per year for the average property owner in the city, the cost was just too high. “I have to pay an extra $500 per year so some kids can go pee in a pool? No way,” said Jim Elderburn, 79. “I can spend that much money on something else, like a two truckloads of La Croix. My favorite flavor is coconut.”
The mayor admitted the cost was high. “But I don’t think it was the cost, to be honest. People didn’t like that it was an aquatic center and that’s the mistake we made. After talking to some person on the street a few minutes ago, I’ve come to the conclusion that what my citizens really wanted was a 70,000 square foot pickleball arena,” said Turk. “We’ll be able to put 75 courts in. Just think of that!”
Some people were interested in the idea. “Yeah, pickleball. I get it now,” said Brittney Clark, 19. “All my friends love pickleball, way more than Taylor Swift. That’s all we can talk about. I have an awesome dink shot. You should see it.”
After hearing about the new plans, Elderburn changed his mind. “A $78 million dollar pickleball court? Now that is something I can get behind. I don’t mind paying that kind of money now, at all,” said Elderburn. “Why didn’t the mayor just say that before?”
“We expect we’ll attract hundreds of thousands of people each year to Camas just to play pickleball. Possibly millions,” said Turk. “Pickleball is loved by everyone, especially rich Japanese businessmen. This is going to put us on the map, I promise.”
A new vote goes to the ballot next year.
