Seattle, WA – A group of vegan protestors demanded restaurant patrons at a Sizzler restaurant to raise their hands with the “jazz hands” salute in their fight against eating meat. As everyone knows, the jazz hands salute is the official vegan salute in North America.
Protestors surrounded an older couple who appeared to be enjoying a romantic dinner, each with a well-done 6-ounce sirloin steak, baked potatoes, and soggy garlic bread.
One protestor leaned in over their plates as he started to shout vegan slogans in their faces. “How now, murdered brown cow!” he shouted over and over.
As the mob grew, they forced the couple to put down their forks and knives and hide underneath their napkins. The couple tried to say something but they were drowned out by chants of “No broccoli! No peace!”
“Where’s your broccoli? Where’s your kale? Why no spinach? Huh? Huh? Huh?” one activist shouted.
The woman diner put on a mask to shield herself from all the spittle flying in her face and food.
“You’re putting your mask on now? Wearing a mask won’t save that cow now, will it?” a supporter from the mob yelled at the woman being bullied.
The crowd, now at about 50 people, then raised their hands in unison and tried to jazz hand them into submission. The couple just continued on with their meal as if the mob weren’t there. “Could you pass the ketchup for my steak, sweetie?” said the man.
As the mob grew tired and frustrated that they weren’t getting their way, they slowly retreated back into the shadows of Seattle’s dark streets, heading towards Dick’s Drive-In to terrorize their next victims.
