Seattle, WA – In Monday night’s game against the San Francisco 49ers, Seattle Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson suffered a season-ending injury. “His right nipple was ripped,” said coach Pete Carroll. “He’s out for the rest of the season.”
During the final few minutes of the exciting game, 49ers cornerback and former teammate Richard Sherman came out of the backfield to rush Wilson. Just as Wilson was about to pass, Sherman came flying down, with fingers outstretched like an eagle claw, and severely ripped Wilson’s nipple. Wilson grimaced in pain and immediately went down, lying in a fetal position. “Revenge is sweet,” Sherman said. “But ripping his throwing-nipple makes it even sweeter. 49ers rule!”
Speaking to the press, Carroll said, “As you all know, the nipple is very important when throwing for any quarterback. But when it is a throwing-nipple it’s especially important to keep it safe. To have it ripped like that is devastating to see. This is worse than any concussion or a knee that’s bent backwards in the opposite direction. He’ll be nursing his nipple for quite a while.”
Upon hearing team doctors saying he also will never be able to wear a nipple ring again, Wilson’s wife, Ciara, was seen sobbing in the corner of the press room. “Why is this happening to us? Why?” she was heard saying.
Seattle fans were in shock to hear the news. Jared Clarp said “The NFL needs to protect its players better. Nipple rips should not be a thing in 2019, just like putting up your Christmas tree before Thanksgiving shouldn’t be a thing. This is a sad day for us all.”
Twitter also had a trending item on the tragedy, “#NipRIPWilson2019”.
After the game Wilson was seen wearing a nipple-sling to keep the injury from ripping any further. “I thought I could just put a band-aid over it and call it good. But Sherman’s claws were just too sharp for my nipple to handle,” said Wilson. “But I’ll be back next season, ready to execute and give 100%. No nipple rip is going to keep this player down. Go Hawks!”
However, Sherman was unrepentant. “You’re in my house now, Russ. And you come in my house again I’m going to mess up your left nipple next time. I love that I’m paid to do this!”
[Russell Wilson photo credit: Mike Morris / Wiki Commons]
