Seattle, WA – President Donald Trump said on Twitter today, without warning, that he wanted to “defund, destroy and abolish” the Space Needle.
“I was looking at a picture of the Space Needle and thought, ‘Yuck!’ I want to defund, destroy and abolish it immediately! That is all for now.”
Mayor Jenny Durkan was offended by Trump’s words. “How dare he say he wants to do this to our beloved Needle? This is the type of inflammatory rhetoric that gets people upset. Words mean things,” said Durkan.
When asked why the President wanted to blow up the Space Needle, Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany explained, “You’re taking his words out of context. Here, let me, word for word, explain it to you, OK? First, ‘defund’ to Trump means to move money away from maintenance on the Space Needle to programs that help workers focus on making people happy when they visit it. ‘Destroy’ means to just love one another with love and more love. And finally, ‘abolish’ means he wants to build a second Space Needle using public tax money, except it will be called the Trump Needle of Love. So does that answer your questions on what he really meant? You liberal press sure like to make the President’s actual words mean the opposite of what they truly mean, don’t you? Shame on you, CNN and Anderson Cooper!”
After the press conference, President Trump sent out another tweet saying he hates Disneyland.
“I hate, despise and loathe Disneyland. Nobody ever has fun there and I heard it really stinks. Bugs Bunny and Donald Duck aren’t funny!”
At this time the press is waiting for a response on what he really meant to say.
