CHOP City, WA – Taz Dimone, the dear leader of Capitol Hill Occupied Protest or CHOP neighborhood (formerly CHAZ), has asked – nay demanded – that Washington State be renamed to “Comrade Occupied Protest State”, or COPS.
Since taking over the Seattle neighborhood by force, which the mayor and governor don’t seem to care about one bit, Dimone figured he could do the same across Washington. “Since everyone seems to be OK with me doing whatever I want, it only makes sense for me to take over the whole state,” Dimone said. “So that’s what I’m going to do. See the new AR-15 I just got out of my trunk?”
Gov. Jay Inslee was perfectly fine with the new concept Dimone gracefully proposed. “Yes, I agree one million percent! Everyone knows that George Washington was a complete jerk, so I agree that COPS is a much better name for our state. I’m all for it!”
The new state capitol will be moved to the CHOP neighborhood tomorrow.
When asked if Dimone realized the irony of calling the state COPS, when he wanted to defund and abolish all police, the name didn’t faze him. “Well, we got rid of the cops that we personally don’t like. But guess what? Me and my crew are the new cops in town because we need to keep law and order just like Trump says. So actually it makes sense,” said Dimone. “May I see your papers, comrade?”
[Photo Credit: Fox News]
