Boise, ID – Seeing how successful Antifa’s tactics in Portland and Seattle are against the police, right-wing activist Ammon Bundy has joined forces with the left-wing group to take on the government in Idaho and the Coronavirus mask mandates. “If you can’t beat that commie scum, might as well join them, I say,” said Bundy in an interview with the Sasquatch Sun.
Bundy, known for taking over an Oregon wildlife refuge in 2016 with an armed militia protesting federal land policies, was seen last week taking part in Antifa riots against the Portland police. “I learned a lot of things those pinkos do. How to build Molotov Cocktails. How to fill condoms with human feces. How to set car fires. How to murder the police. And most importantly, how to create a great avocado toast snack just before we attack innocent civilians on the street,” said Bundy. “I love those little Marxists and how we both love to hate the government. We’re completely opposite on most issues. But we’re a match made in anti-government heaven, you know?”
Joey Riverdale was one of the Antifa members who trained Bundy. “Yeah, we were skeptical at first, letting in a fascist like him along with us freedom fighters. But since we both hate the government equally we figured, why not?” said Riverdale. “He was pretty good at everything except wearing a standard issue Antifa black-bloc mask. We learned real quick not to ask him about that. Yikes.”
Bundy’s hatred of the government boils down to that one issue: wearing a mask to fight Coronavirus. “I hate masks. I never liked Halloween as a kid. I hate how the government forces me to wear one to fight a disease that nobody can even see with their own eyes. I also hate how masks make my face look weird and lumpy, since they just don’t fit right over my beautiful, made-in-America beard,” said Bundy.
Because of those reasons, Bundy has started a new anti-mask group: Antima. “It’s a take on Antifa and them being anti-fascists or whatever those man-bun wearing weirdos say. Get it? Anti-masks? Antima? It’s awesome,” said Bundy.
“Me and my Antima comrades, I mean, my manly buddies are heading to the police station tonight,” said Bundy. “I sure hope I don’t cough or sneeze on any cop down there as we won’t be wearing masks. Just our cowboy hats, chaps, spurs and nothing else. CNN and the liberal media will have to love me now. Antima is here to stay.”
[Bundy photo credit: Justin Sullivan/Getty Images]
