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Endorsement: The Sasquatch Sun Recommends Goodspaceguy For Governor Of Washington

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Olympia, WA – The Sasquatch Sun editorial board is officially endorsing Goodspaceguy for the 2020 Washington State Governor’s election. It’s time for change and Governor Jay Inslee must go.

There are just too many good things Goodspaceguy has done to earn our endorsement. But here are a few examples:

  • He’s run for governor 21 times and lost, which proves he has the necessary experience and will never give up
  • He operated a chemical plant so he knows how to get rid of all the gas in Olympia
  • He was born in Minnesota, a state which all Washingtonians think of as their second home
  • He has knowledge in several Romance languages which he’ll need to romance and persuade his political opponents
  • He has membership and offices in many special interest clubs which is good to know
  • He wants a lot of robots for you to supervise which will greatly raise your standard of living
  • He refers to our planet as “Spaceship Earth”
  • He was born in 1938
  • He has a beard

But if those examples aren’t good enough for you, then the very fact he legally changed his name to “Goodspaceguy” from his birth name of Michael Nelson should be enough to persuade you. He did this because he cares about our state and he cares about you and your pets. Who would do a thing as serious as actually changing their name? Would Governor Inslee change his name to “ExcellentClimateChangePerson”? No, he would not because Inslee doesn’t care about you like Goodspaceguy will as governor.

Goodspaceguy has got our vote and he should have yours, too. Vote Goodspaceguy for Washington State Governor!

[Photo credit: Goodspaceguy]

Note: The Sasquatch Sun produces hard-hitting, in-depth news satire for the sunny Pacific Northwest. The preceding article is a mythical work of fiction and is not an actual news story. Leave and view comments below.
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