Portland, OR - The local Antifa franchise is going by a new name. “We are now AntifX”, said local comrade General Jules Howgrove of the Greater Portland Army Brigade of AntifX. “We are inclusive and want everyone to know we are not gender specific.
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Republic, WA - An undercover sting investigation by The Sasquatch Sun has uncovered what Loren Culp’s new top secret slogan is going to be: “Vote for Culp and beat the Dems to a Pulp”. “Yeah, you big media guys found out our secret slogan,” said
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Yakima, WA - To show how much he cares, Gov. Jay Inslee traveled today to Yakima County to visit the firefighters on the front lines of the Evans Canyon fire. “I love these guys so much, I thought I would come visit them in person and bring them a b
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Salem, OR - Oregon Governor Kate Brown has been arrested for intentionally setting wildfires throughout the state. “Yes, it was me this whole time, you ignorant fools!” admitted Brown, laughing maniacally in a courtroom where she was being arraigned
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Pacific Northwest - Smokey the Bear has a message for rioters across the Pacific Northwest: “Only YOU can prevent forest fires! Whatever you throw, make sure it don’t glow!” The icon of forest fire management came forward with his urgent message
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