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The Sasquatch Sun

The Sasquatch Sun

Your Official Source for Mythical News

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Recent Posts
  • Santa Increasingly Concerned Retirement Is Not an Option December 23, 2025
  • Venezuela Seizes McDonald’s Cargo Ship; Hamburglar Detained December 23, 2025
  • Military Paychecks Bounce After Trump Meant $17.76, Not $1,776 December 19, 2025
  • Son Calls 911 After Dad Can’t Stop Making “Six-Seven” Jokes December 15, 2025
  • Conspiracy Theorist Begins to Suspect Belief in Conspiracies May Itself Be a Con... December 14, 2025

Tag: Olympia

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October 8, 20200

Debate Recap: Inslee Can Only Answer ‘Climate Change’ To Every Question; Culp Walks Off Stage, Cracks Open A Cold Beer

Olympia, WA - During Wednesday’s gubernatorial debate between Jay Inslee and Loren Culp, Inslee shocked half the state and joyfully amazed the other half by only answering every question with the words “climate change” over and over and over again.

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August 10, 20200

Inslee Reinstates Death Penalty to Fight Climate Change

Olympia, WA - Gov. Jay Inslee signed an executive order today reinstating Washington State’s death penalty. Reversing his 2014 executive order putting a moratorium on the death penalty, and overturning the Washington State Supreme Court’s 2018 decis

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July 29, 20200

Endorsement: The Sasquatch Sun Recommends Goodspaceguy For Governor Of Washington

Olympia, WA - The Sasquatch Sun editorial board is officially endorsing Goodspaceguy for the 2020 Washington State Governor’s election. It’s time for change and Governor Jay Inslee must go. There are just too many good things Goodspaceguy has don

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June 23, 20200

Inslee Abolishes Washington State Patrol; Replaces With Massage Therapist Officers

Olympia, WA - Hearing the cries to defund the police, Gov. Jay Inslee has abolished the Washington State Patrol (WSP), effective immediately. “I do this with a heavy heart, but the WSP is now abolished forever and ever. Amen,” said Inslee. To rep

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May 19, 20200

Inslee Busted Getting Illegal Haircut At Local Massage Parlor; Says, “Those Aren’t My Pants!”

Olympia, WA - Gov. Jay Inslee has been arrested by the Washington State Patrol for getting an illegal haircut during the coronavirus quarantine. “Governor Inslee was arrested in a sting operation yesterday involving illegal haircuts at a local massa

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Santa Increasingly Concerned Retirement Is Not an Option
Venezuela Seizes McDonald’s Cargo Ship; Hamburglar Detained
Military Paychecks Bounce After Trump Meant $17.76, Not $1,776
Son Calls 911 After Dad Can’t Stop Making “Six-Seven” Jokes

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