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Washington and Oregon Initiatives Would Remove Idaho from the Pacific Northwest

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Vancouver, WA – Washington and Oregon have complementary initiatives on the ballot this November to get Idaho removed from the “Pacific Northwest”.

“I realize a lot people include Idaho as being part of the ‘Pacific Northwest’, ” said Jordan Readon of Hoquiam, air quoting “Pacific” with his fingers. “But, does Idaho touch the Pacific ocean? No, it does not. Look at a map. It’s just ridiculous how it’s gone on this long.” Readon is the sponsor of the Washington initiative.

His friend, Martel Spearing of Cannon Beach, is the sponsor of the of the Oregon initiative. “Jordon and I were having coffee one day in Astoria. You know, where ‘The Goonies’ was filmed? Love that movie. Chunk is my favorite. Anyway, somehow we got on the topic of how Idaho is considered part of the Pacific Northwest. We didn’t get it and it made us angry the more we talked. So we decided then and there to do something. It makes me sick to think about it.”

Jeremy Highfeld of Pampa, Idaho is a mutual friend of Readon and Spearing. “They both told me what they were going to do. I guess I understand their argument, but I was kind of shocked at how much hate they had for Idaho in this regard. I think they need therapy.”

Both Readon and Spearing agreed that Idaho can still be considered part of “The Great Northwest”, however. They both decided to leave that regional name off of both initiatives. “Idaho being part of the ‘Great Northwest’ makes more sense, I suppose. You know, with Wyoming and Montana. But ‘Pacific Northwest’? No way. So long Idaho! Your time has finally come.” said Spearing.

Note: The Sasquatch Sun produces hard-hitting, in-depth news satire for the sunny Pacific Northwest. The preceding article is a mythical work of fiction and is not an actual news story. Leave and view comments below.
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