Portland, OR – This year the list of most popular baby names in Portland has a decidedly Cold War feel to it. “Old-fashioned Communist names are making a big comeback this year, thanks to the large native Antifa community in the city,” said Shelly Kringa who specializes in naming babies.
Kringa said the top five names for boys this year are Vladimir, Marx, Mao, Fidel, and Lenin. “These names are super-hot right now for boys. Lenin and Marx are traditionally last names, but Antifa parents are making them the first name for their little commie-babies,” said Kringa. “I just met a little baby whose name is Marx, but they’re already calling him little Marxy. So cute!”
The top five girl names aren’t common Communist leaders like the boys, but still honor common Communist ideals. “Bestreva is very popular for girls and is number one. It means ‘guardian of the Revolution’. The ladies of Antifa love these names for their little devochkas,” said Kringa.
Rounding out the top five girl’s names are Vaterpezhekosma, Dazdrasmygda, Krarmija and Donjera.
Melissa Granish of Portland recently named her daughter Vaterpezhekosma. “We named her that because Vaterpezhekosma was the first woman cosmonaut in the mighty Soviet Union. Take that Neil Armstrong, you capitalist astronaut svin’ya!”
Granish has another daughter on the way but isn’t naming her with one of the top five names. “We’re naming her Giotina, which means guillotine in Russian. Capitalist’s heads will be rolling when they hear that name for the last time, I guarantee it, comrade.”
For more revolutionary names visit Kringa’s website YouCalledYourBabyWhat.com.
