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Medford Man Who Only Wears Leavenworth T-shirts Never Visited City Before

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Medford, OR – A local Medford man, who has never visited the Bavarian-themed city of Leavenworth, Washington, is accused of only wearing t-shirts from that city. “It’s my favorite type of t-shirt, no doubt about it,” said Brad Sellinghopf in an interview with The Sasquatch Sun. “I find them very comfortable and very stylish.”

Sellinghopf, 48, who has lived in Medford his entire life, received his first Leavenworth t-shirt when he was in high school. “One of my friends visited there with his parents in 1987 and he bought me a tourist t-shirt. It had a little Santa Claus flying his sleigh over the town. As soon as I tried it on I knew that was it. It was love at first sight,” said Sellinghopf. “I knew I’d never wear another type of t-shirt again unless it said ‘Leavenworth’ on it.”

His wife, Cindy Sellinghopf, said it’s true that he’s never worn anything else since that fateful day. “On our wedding day he did wear a tuxedo. But underneath the jacket he wore his favorite t-shirt at the time, which was one that had a Sasquatch and big heart symbol with Leavenworth written underneath, “ Cindy said. “He even wore it to bed on our wedding night. I felt sexy.”

Not everyone is happy with Sellinghopf’s choice of clothing. Sellinghopf’s employer, Medford Coffee Company, requires employees to wear shirts with the company’s logo on it — everyone except for Sellinghopf. “He threatened to sue us for t-shirt discrimination,” said Bart Krangle, CEO of the business. “We didn’t want to fight it and be seen as bigots. So we compromised and he wears a Leavenworth t-shirt that says ‘486 Miles to Medford!’ on it with a little bear drinking coffee. It’s fine, I guess.”

Sellinghopf acquires most of his t-shirt wardrobe from family and friends that visit the city each year. He received 37 new shirts just last year. “I currently have over 812 Leavenworth t-shirts. My current favorite t-shirt is one that has a great white shark drinking a beer downtown. There are so many shirts I’ve taken up my wife’s parking space in the garage just to store them. It’s just like what David Hasselhoff might do, who has German ancestry, by the way. I feel like a movie star.”

Sellinghopf, who has visited Disneyland over 32 times, doesn’t own one t-shirt from there. “I’m a one theme park t-shirt man. I’m faithful to my one true love: Leavenworth.”

When asked if he ever plans to visit Leavenworth, Sellinghopf said not anytime soon. “I don’t feel the need to visit, honestly. I already feel like I visit it everyday. I’ve looked at all the books and pictures of the city. I also visit it virtually when looking at Google Maps Street View images,” said Sellinghopf. “But It’s also kind of far for my Volkswagen Scirocco to go. I don’t think I’d make it.”

[Photo credit: Joe Mabel / Wikimedia Commons]

Note: The Sasquatch Sun produces hard-hitting, in-depth news satire for the sunny Pacific Northwest. The preceding article is a mythical work of fiction and is not an actual news story. Leave and view comments below.
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