Bend, OR - The Sasquatch Sun has learned a local Bend Bigfoot is the latest victim of the coronavirus. “We learned just a few seconds ago the terrible news,” said Gov. Kate Brown in an impromptu new conference. “We and the people of Bend are devasta
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Olympia, WA - Gov. Jay Inslee has created the nation’s first Stay-At-Home tax. “I feel extremely proud that, once again, Washington State leads the way in our efforts to fight this deadly Coronavirus,” said Inslee on Monday. “With nobody buying anyt
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Portland, OR - While the world fights the spread of Coronavirus, local Antifa heroes are welcoming the disease with open arms to Portland. "We need every tool and weapon at our disposal to fight the fascists in our community," said Sir Tim Affina, o
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Olympia, WA - Gov. Jay Inslee has ordered Tim Eyman and all Republican candidates for governor to shelter in place. “To fight coronavirus and to protect Washington citizens, I’m ordering all of my Republican opponents for governor to shelter in plac
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Richland, WA - A Richland elementary school student was sent to the hospital Wednesday after ingesting Brussels sprouts that another student brought to school, sources tell The Sasquatch Sun. Principal Jim Bornoff said during a staff meeting and
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