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March 13, 20200

Richland Elementary Student Brings Brussels Sprouts to School; Forces Younger Child to Eat Them

Richland, WA - A Richland elementary school student was sent to the hospital Wednesday after ingesting Brussels sprouts that another student brought to school, sources tell The Sasquatch Sun. Principal Jim Bornoff said during a staff meeting and

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March 10, 20200

Boise Man Accused of Bowling Ball Abuse Caught on Camera

Boise, ID - A Boise bowling alley manager is accused of abusing bowling balls.  A grand jury indicted Barney Fortnight on charges of aggravated bowling ball abuse Monday. Jim Grater said he took his grandson to Shoot ‘Em High Bowling Lanes last A

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March 6, 20200

Actor Christ Pratt to Portray 80s Singer Christopher Cross

Friday Harbor, WA - Actor and local god Chris Pratt is preparing to play 1980s singer-songwriter and sex symbol Christopher Cross in an upcoming movie biopic on the musician. “This movie is going to be better than some silly movie about Freddie Merc

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March 4, 20200

Jay Inslee Declares Coronavirus As Washington State’s Official Virus

Olympia, WA - Gov. Inslee has declared that the Coronavirus (COVID-19) is now Washington State's official virus. "Now is the time to focus on this important issue of naming official state viruses," said Inslee at a press conference Wednesday. Wit

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March 3, 20200

Trump Schedules Mount Rainier to Erupt Next Tuesday Using Nuclear Bombs

Seattle, WA - On direct orders from President Trump, the US Geological Survey has planned an eruption of Mount Rainier next Tuesday. “We’re going to level that sucker,” said USGS Director Jim Reilly. “Mount Rainier will be no more after Tuesday, God

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