Portland, OR - Portland schools are going back to the basics: school uniforms. However, these aren’t your great-great-great-grandparents’ uniforms. These are uniforms inspired by Portland’s local heroes, Antifa. The Sasquatch Sun has learned that
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Seattle, WA - City Council member Kshama Sawant was caught on camera Thursday stealing a stapler from Amazon headquarters. “We are investigating this matter very seriously, “ said Police Chief Kathleen M. O'Toole. In the video released this morni
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Portland, OR - At a recent campaign event, President Trump declared he is diligently working on fixing the coronavirus problem. “I’m planning on quarantining Portland in the next few days and sending all patients from all over the United States ther
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Victoria, WA - Saying it doesn’t make sense any longer to wait, President Trump annexed Victoria, British Columbia and the southern end of Vancouver Island today. “Welcome my new US citizens. Your hellish Canadian nightmare is now over. Beautiful!”
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Seattle, WA - Seattle has passed a law that makes it illegal to cut in line anywhere in the city. “We’re going to stop people from not properly waiting in line,“ said Mayor Jenny Durkin. “It isn’t fair for the people waiting in line the correct and
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