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The Sasquatch Sun

The Sasquatch Sun

Your Source for Mythical News in the Sunny Pacific Northwest

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  • WASHINGTON
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Category: Washington

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October 28, 20190

Local Whales Tired of Victoria Dumping Sewage On Their Heads

Port Angeles, WA - Local Washington whales are increasingly getting vocal about Victoria, British Columbia’s sewage problem. “Squeek splurp blep blurp deek snurk pleek brip!” said Bob the Orca. Translation: The whales are ticked-off and angry.

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October 18, 20190

Washington State Nuclear Power Plant to Begin Infusing Pumpkin Spice Into Emissions

Richland, WA - The Columbia Generating Station, Washington State’s only nuclear power facility, said today that they will begin infusing pumpkin spice into its steam emissions. “I think people will get a nuclear-sized kick out of the new emissions,”

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October 10, 20190

Yakima Changes Nickname to “Yakima: The Core Delane of Washington”

Yakima, WA - Since 1987, visitors driving along Interstate 82 in Yakima have been welcomed by the sign that says “Welcome to Yakima: The Palm Springs of Washington.” That’s all about to change. “Yeah, I confess. Yakima really doesn’t look anythin

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October 9, 20190

Jay Inslee Blames Climate Change for Failed Presidential Bid

Olympia, WA - After months of campaigning and receiving a modest 0.002% approval in the polls, Governor Jay Inslee dropped out of the race for President last August. "If it weren’t for climate change, I'd probably be the front-runner," Inslee said i

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October 4, 20190

Scores of Amazon Employees Die of Dehydration After Nobody Changes Empty Water Bottles

Seattle, WA - In an unprecedented workplace tragedy, Amazon employees are dying of dehydration. The cause? Nobody knows how to change the water bottles, and - if they do - they can’t or won’t lift them. “This is a terrible, terrible situation th

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