Olympia, WA – Governor Jay Inslee today proposed a new ban on guns that have triggers attached to them. “We’re going to ban all guns that have those scary triggers. No exceptions. This is another common sense gun law, “ Inslee stated.
The proposed law would make it illegal to buy or transfer guns with triggers attached to them. “You can still buy the gun, which will not affect your God-given Second Amendment rights. Citizens can even buy fully-automatic guns now,” Inslee said.
“Don’t worry, you will still be able to buy as many bullets as you gun nuts, umm, I mean firearm owners want to put in your clip thingy. If you want, you can say ‘pew, pew, pew!’ to replicate the firing of guns by pulling on the invisible trigger as many times as you can. It’s pretty fair for everyone.”
Current gun owners will have to retrofit their existing firearms by having the triggers removed at one certified government site in Olympia. “I decree that a census of all gun owners must take place. They will travel to Olympia, also known as the State Capitol, to be registered, taxed, have an RFID chip implanted, and have their triggers removed,” Inslee said.
The only exception to the new law will be police and the security detail protecting Inslee. “Somebody still has to protect me and my family, so triggers will still be allowed in that situation. I’m important,” Inslee said.
Residents caught with triggers on their firearms face 100 years in prison and a 10-million dollar fine, along with a pox upon their household for five generations.
