Portland, OR – Portland schools are going back to the basics: school uniforms. However, these aren’t your great-great-great-grandparents’ uniforms. These are uniforms inspired by Portland’s local heroes, Antifa.
The Sasquatch Sun has learned that in an email sent to parents last week, Portland Public Schools stated a new rule that if students don’t have at least two pieces of clothing inspired by Antifa they won’t be allowed back to school next year.
“Students must identify with Antifa in some way on the first day of school. No exceptions. Students will be expelled immediately and taunted as the fascists they are if they don’t comply,” the email warned.
Students will have options, however. As long as their clothing is black, they can pick from any of these two items: Work or military boots, pants, balaclavas, ski masks, gloves, and jackets. Gas masks, goggles and shields may be added as accessories. “We want our children to have some freedom, but not the type of freedom that capitalism allows,” the notice read.
In the aftermath of two incidents where students wore red MAGA hats and t-shirts with American flags last year, the Portland School Board voted to ban personal or philosophical exemptions to wearing Antifa clothing. “We are a black bloc only school district now. No exceptions will be tolerated,” the notice concluded.
Parents speaking to the Sasquatch Sun expressed relief that this new rule will now be enforced across the school district.
“We’re all in this together,” said Bertand Frungle, wearing a black t-shirt that said ‘Smashing Facism Is My Cardio’. “If some people aren’t pulling their weight, it’s not good for the majority. We cannot allow a minority of closed-minded people to be who they want to be, especially Republicans and the police. It’s for the children.”
[Photo credit: Anarkman/Wikimedia Commons]
