Portland, OR - To soothe the violent nature of Portland’s thriving Antifa culture, it has been reported that Portland Mayor Ted Wheeler is using a new technique to calm the group’s frayed nerves: ASMR. “I will heal our comrades with my soothing voic
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Seneca, OR - Recent cow mutilations in remote sections of eastern Oregon have spooked residents and ranchers. However, the mystery has been solved and three suspects have been arrested in Portland. “They’re Antifa dingbats,” said Harney County Sheri
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Portland, OR - City of Portland Mayor Ted Wheeler has signed an executive order that will build a wall around the entire city’s border. Wheeler stated in his press conference, “We must protect Portland’s progressive values from those who would steal
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