Olympia, WA – Since Governor Jay Inslee’s “stay at home” order March 23rd to slow the spread of the covid-19 virus, owners and employees of businesses considered “non-essential” have taken a huge financial hit. Although many small business owners are able to apply for loans to keep their businesses from closing, and employees are able to file for unemployment, the future of many employers – large and small – is in question. One industry hit hardest has been largely ignored by leaders and politicians: Theft.
Before the stay at home order, those who made their money by shoplifting could simply walk into a store and walk out with extra layers of clothes and merchandise stuffed into pockets. Now, most retailers are deemed non-essential and will remain closed until further notice. Additionally, thieves who worked in the Breaking and Entering sector (commonly called B&E) are finding fewer and fewer homes that are unoccupied and more homeowners who are armed to the hilt.
“I used to be able to hit up three or four houses in a day,” said Mr. X, a thief in Seattle who agreed to give an interview with the assurance of anonymity. “Now I’m lucky if I can find one a week. I’ve been shot at twice but can’t call the cops because they’d just arrest me. So unfair! And who are we supposed to sell stuff to? All the pawn shops are non-essential too. It’s a no-win situation.”
In an ironic twist of fate, the Governor recently ordered the release of over 300 prisoners in Washington State amid concerns about their risk of contracting covid-19, which could have meant the immediate addition of that many theft jobs if the industry were still operating at full capacity.
“So many of my colleagues who were locked up are out now – Stabby Joe, Tear Drop Bob, Smash ‘n Grab Pete, so many others,” said Mr. X, shaking his head. “It’s a crying shame they can’t do what they love because of this stupid quarantine. Can’t even get in a good purse snatching because of social distancing. I’d like to see you try stealing a purse from 6 feet away.”
One area of theft has actually been helped by the quarantine: robbing banks. With so many people unable to find or make face masks, bandanas have become a popular alternative, making it nearly impossible to distinguish between legitimate customers and potential robbers.
“Now I can just walk up to a bank teller with my red bandana and black ball cap without arousing suspicion,” Mr. X said with a chuckle. “I mean, theoretically. That wasn’t me in the surveillance video. Also, people in my career prefer to be called Personal Property Removal Specialists, not thieves.”
The long-term effects of the covid-19 shutdown on the theft industry may not be truly understood for years to come, if ever, since exact data is difficult to collect and PPRS workers are not known for their honesty.
