Portland, OR - Portland's Major League Soccer team, the Portland Timbers, has signed Marquise "Keese" Lee Love to a 10-year, $250 million deal after seeing Love kick a man sitting on the street. "After we saw that wicked, immoral kick to the head, w
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Portland, OR - A very interesting thing is taking place in Portland’s hotel industry: business is booming. As the coronavirus continues to damage economies worldwide, Portland’s hotel and motel industry is a hotspot of activity. “The only thing k
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Portland, OR - Antifa has launched a new product line of pacifiers. While most pacifiers are used to soothe babies, these new pacifiers will be used to soothe the comrades of Antifa. “We have found that these pacifiers will not only protect the teet
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Portland, OR - With the recent discovery that tigers and other felines can carry the covid-19 virus, Oregon Zoo keepers are enforcing social distancing between their two Amur tigers, Eloise and Bernadette. “Normally, Ellie and Bernie like to cudd
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Everyone in the sunny Pacific Northwest loves to go hiking, kayaking, climbing Mt Rainier and drink pumpkin spiced lattés. But did you know another favorite pastime is having a good old fashioned riot? This has become especially evident in the last
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