Seattle, WA – Patrons at a local vegan restaurant were forced to evacuate when a take-out order from another restaurant was mistakenly delivered. “It was . . . I can barely say the words. I’m so traumatized. It was barbecue chicken wings,” said owner Trish Poulette.
The restaurant, “Don’t Have A Cow, Man”, had 35 people inside at the time. The take-out was ordered from Chick-fil-A and placed directly inside the restaurant doorstep. “I don’t think this was a mistake,” said Poulette. “This was done on purpose.”
Jeff Frombow was just about to eat his meat-free dinner when the incident occurred. “I was about to dig into my squash steak, beet fries and kale milkshake when this delivery person came in and just dropped it there without asking anybody about it. The guy had a red hat on that I thought said ‘Make Seattle Chicken Again’, but I’m not sure,” said Frombow. “It was very suspicious.”
When the package was opened and the contents discovered Poulette said she immediately fainted. However, once she revived she pulled the fire alarm. “We were trained for this scenario and I went into action. Once I got everyone out and safe I got the fire extinguisher and smothered the chicken to drown out the smell of savory chicken flesh,” said Poulette. “I’m a hero.”
The Seattle Fire Department arrived on scene a few minutes later to discard the hazardous substance. “The guys were disappointed that the chicken was ruined. We were really hungry and would’ve eaten it back at the station. Oh, well,” said Lt. Dan Grend.
Poulette was sent to the hospital for observation as a precaution. She was released a few hours later after being treated and showing no signs of poisoning. It was unclear how Poulette had barbecue sauce on her fingers and lips.
Sgt. Jeff Bean of the Seattle Police Department said they will be treating this as a hate crime. “We will not stand for this type of terrorism in our city, no matter how good that chicken tastes, which is better than Popeye’s chicken. There, I said it,” said Bean.
“We’re just glad this horrific incident is over,” said Poulette. “I hope nobody ever has to see barbecue chicken wings of death again in our community.”
