Skip to navigation Skip to content

The Sasquatch Sun

Your Source for Mythical News in the Sunny Pacific Northwest

  • LATEST
  • WASHINGTON
  • OREGON
  • IDAHO
  • BUY STUFF
  • LATEST
  • WASHINGTON
  • OREGON
  • IDAHO
  • BUY STUFF
The Sasquatch Sun

The Sasquatch Sun

Your Source for Mythical News in the Sunny Pacific Northwest

  • LATEST
  • WASHINGTON
  • OREGON
  • IDAHO
  • BUY STUFF
Recent Posts
  • Boy Patiently Waits For Mountain To Erupt October 15, 2020
  • ‘The Walking Dead’ Moves Production To Portland Due To Overabundance... October 12, 2020
  • Debate Recap: Inslee Can Only Answer ‘Climate Change’ To Every Quest... October 8, 2020
  • Governor Jay Inslee Revealed To Be The Infamous Hijacker D.B. Cooper October 6, 2020
  • To Be Less Girly And More Manly, Antifa Rebrands Name To AntifX September 25, 2020

Tag: Coronavirus

  • Home
  • Coronavirus
  • Page 2
May 28, 20200

Medford Criminalizes Coronavirus Drive-By Birthday Parades; Children Will Be Arrested If They Don’t Comply

Medford, OR - Beginning Tuesday, the City of Medford has banned drive-by parades within the city limits. Mayor Gary Wheeler said in a press statement that the situation has gotten out of control. “We know people are cooped up due to the coronavirus.

Read More
May 20, 20200

Blaine Border Patrol Division Changes Name To “Bored and Bored-er Patrol” Because They’re So Bored. Ugh.

Blaine, WA - With the continuing closure of the US-Canadian Border due to the Coronavirus, local Border Patrol agents are bored. “We’ve got nothing to do around here anymore,” said ‘Steve’ who wanted to remain anonymous. “All we do now is sit in our

Read More
May 19, 20200

Inslee Busted Getting Illegal Haircut At Local Massage Parlor; Says, “Those Aren’t My Pants!”

Olympia, WA - Gov. Jay Inslee has been arrested by the Washington State Patrol for getting an illegal haircut during the coronavirus quarantine. “Governor Inslee was arrested in a sting operation yesterday involving illegal haircuts at a local massa

Read More
May 18, 20200

Inspired By Seattle, WSDOT Permanently Closes Portion of I-90 to Combat Coronavirus; Says Citizens Can “Walk Off the Quarantine 15”

Seattle, WA - Following Seattle’s lead in closing 20 miles of streets to traffic, the Washington State Department of Transportation (WSDOT) will close I-90 from North Bend to Cle Elum. “Using the Coronavirus as a somewhat flimsy excuse, this section

Read More
May 13, 20200

In Retaliation, Idaho Governor Declares Democrats Non-Essential

Boise, ID - In a retaliatory strike against the governors of Washington and Oregon for declaring Republicans non-essential, Gov. Brad Little has declared the Democratic Party as non-essential.  Yesterday, Gov. Inslee of Washington and Gov. Kate B

Read More

Posts pagination

Previous 1 2 3 4 Next

Subscribe To The Sasquatch Sun

Mythical news from the sunny Pacific Northwest, delivered straight to your inbox.

Top Posts

Chris Pratt Buys San Juan Island; Renames to "Chris' Ruth Dino Island"

BUY STUFF

Don't Miss

All News Study Finds Human Compost from Bainbridge Islanders Grows the Best Tomatoes
All News Trump’s Latest Campaign Promise: Quarantine and Send All Coronavirus Patients to Portland
All News Camas, WA Mayor Plans to Build Massive $78 Million Pickeball Arena

Categories

Archives

© 2020 The Sasquatch Sun | Your Source for Mythical News in the Sunny Pacific Northwest
  • About
  • Contact
  • Subscribe
  • Buy Stuff
  • Privacy
  • RSS
  • Site Admin
Some information to know before you use our site

The Sasquatch Sun produces news satire for the sunny Pacific Northwest. The articles you read on this site are mythical works of fiction and are not real news stories.

The Sasquatch Sun uses cookies. By continuing to use this website, you agree to their use. Check out our Privacy Policy for more information.

OK
Privacy and Cookies

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
Non-necessary
Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.
SAVE & ACCEPT