Lynden, WA - In a surprise showing of shock and awe, President Trump has secretly built a cable fence north of Lynden along the Canadian border. “This was my secret plan all along,” said Trump. “Take that, Trudeau!” The cable fence, which Trump c
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Seattle, WA - President Donald Trump said on Twitter today, without warning, that he wanted to “defund, destroy and abolish” the Space Needle. “I was looking at a picture of the Space Needle and thought, ‘Yuck!’ I want to defund, destroy and abol
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Boise, ID - Using his unlimited executive order powers, President Donald Trump has ordered military forces to invade and capture the state of Idaho to stop the rioting and looting there. “Everyone tells me Idaho is the worst place this lawlessness a
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Seattle, WA - On direct orders from President Trump, the US Geological Survey has planned an eruption of Mount Rainier next Tuesday. “We’re going to level that sucker,” said USGS Director Jim Reilly. “Mount Rainier will be no more after Tuesday, God
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Portland, OR - At a recent campaign event, President Trump declared he is diligently working on fixing the coronavirus problem. “I’m planning on quarantining Portland in the next few days and sending all patients from all over the United States ther
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