Portland, OR - Portland schools are going back to the basics: school uniforms. However, these aren’t your great-great-great-grandparents’ uniforms. These are uniforms inspired by Portland’s local heroes, Antifa. The Sasquatch Sun has learned that
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Portland, OR - At a recent campaign event, President Trump declared he is diligently working on fixing the coronavirus problem. “I’m planning on quarantining Portland in the next few days and sending all patients from all over the United States ther
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Portland, OR - To soothe the violent nature of Portland’s thriving Antifa culture, it has been reported that Portland Mayor Ted Wheeler is using a new technique to calm the group’s frayed nerves: ASMR. “I will heal our comrades with my soothing voic
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Portland, OR - Disney’s new lovable Star Wars character, Baby Yoda, is now a protected species within the city limits of Portland. “If Baby Yoda were real, and he just might be, then he’d be protected here,” said Councilperson Pat Crowder. “No bount
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Portland, OR - City of Portland Mayor Ted Wheeler has signed an executive order that will build a wall around the entire city’s border. Wheeler stated in his press conference, “We must protect Portland’s progressive values from those who would steal
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