Olympia, WA - Gov. Jay Inslee has ordered Tim Eyman and all Republican candidates for governor to shelter in place. “To fight coronavirus and to protect Washington citizens, I’m ordering all of my Republican opponents for governor to shelter in plac
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Richland, WA - A Richland elementary school student was sent to the hospital Wednesday after ingesting Brussels sprouts that another student brought to school, sources tell The Sasquatch Sun. Principal Jim Bornoff said during a staff meeting and
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Friday Harbor, WA - Actor and local god Chris Pratt is preparing to play 1980s singer-songwriter and sex symbol Christopher Cross in an upcoming movie biopic on the musician. “This movie is going to be better than some silly movie about Freddie Merc
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Olympia, WA - Gov. Inslee has declared that the Coronavirus (COVID-19) is now Washington State's official virus. "Now is the time to focus on this important issue of naming official state viruses," said Inslee at a press conference Wednesday. Wit
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Seattle, WA - On direct orders from President Trump, the US Geological Survey has planned an eruption of Mount Rainier next Tuesday. “We’re going to level that sucker,” said USGS Director Jim Reilly. “Mount Rainier will be no more after Tuesday, God
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