Portland, OR – The local Antifa franchise is going by a new name. “We are now AntifX”, said local comrade General Jules Howgrove of the Greater Portland Army Brigade of AntifX. “We are inclusive and want everyone to know we are not gender specific. Specifically that we’re not all a bunch of females running around throwing pink milkshakes at fascists. As everyone knows, girls are kind of icky.”
Much like the Lantinx movement to remove gender specific nouns and adjectives that refer to grammatical gender, such as Latino or Latina in Spanish, AntifX’s goal was the same. “We are now gender-neutral just like we’re morally-neutral,” said Howgrove. “Plus it sounds tough and manly now. It’s really cool.”
“I think it’s great. For too long, Trump and conservatives have referred to us as if we’re just a bunch of girls when they say Anti-FA over and over and over again,” said Marge Lampshade, emphasizing the “fa”. “They know what they’re doing. Well, calling us AntifX will change all that. I’m sure more red-blooded Americans will join our merry, manly group now.”
However, local AntifX soldier Private Ramiro Gueverra wasn’t so sure about the name change. “98% of Latinos, yes I said Lantinos, don’t like being referred to as Latinx. That is just a bunch of white liberals trying to make themselves feel better about something again. Sorry, but I’m not changing my name to Ramirx Gueverrx,” said Gueverrx.
“And this doesn’t make any sense for Antifa to do because there was no male Antifo equivalent. This just dumb and the more I think about it, the whole Antifa or AntifX thing or whatever is just dumb, too. I’m out.”
Gueverra was last seen drinking a Miller Lite and eating at a Chick-fil-A with a large American flag in the back of his Ford F-150 pickup truck.
“I know Ramirx and others may have a problem, but that’s the least of our worries right now,” said Howgrove. “We’ve got business cards, letterheads, websites and other marketing we’ve got to change. What a pain.”
